I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
