WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
