I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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