my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Everything about him screamed your future.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
