I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
