I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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