he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My cat gives me a boner
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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