Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize