i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
