I can text with my tongue
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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