Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
