Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my sisters under your porch take her home
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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