oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
