very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
