What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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