I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Please, let me fuck your mom
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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