I wish my penis had an off switch
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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