I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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