don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
