I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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