So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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