I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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