everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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