omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
