Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
