frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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