Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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