so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
