Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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