Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
