I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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