Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?