so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
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Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
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Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize