the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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