I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
