I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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