I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
