found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
