we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
