You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize