I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im holly from the hills drunk
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
