i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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