The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
