also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
