the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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