Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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