you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
