If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
