i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
