Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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