Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
