chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize