woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
