Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize