I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize