So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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