I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize