I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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