we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
