I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
